Week 32: OFFL Cup Semi Final Draw

Manager Alun Edwards adds another Manager of the Week certificate to the one he [should've] got last week, albeit after a recount. He joins Malcolm 'Wishes He Was In The Middle' Pratt who also notched up a large 20 point haul, thanks mainly, perhaps, to Steven Gerrard's personal 11 point harvest.

Meanwhile, the boy Beecroft spits and stumbles like a red-nosed Scottish manager with a knighthood as his chart-topping T-Boys score a magnificent -2. Which briefly allows BM Mingmongs a sniff of his tail before bolting into the woods with a quick 'come hither' look over his haunches.

Indeed, the current champions had better extractus digitus pronto if they're going to make up the remaining 20 point gap and retain the title.


OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals
to be played in Week 35 [w/c 6th April]


Pompey Puss v RS T-Boy
Abeerden v Radnorshire Tigers


That's Lionel v Rick, Steve v Alun as it happens.

Semi-finaltastic.

Week 32:

Addendum: Last Week, there should have been a Joint Manager of the Week. Alun Edwards also scored 14 points. The funeral of the Umpa Lumpa responsible takes place next Wednesday. Closed Casket.

Week 31: OFFL Cup Results

As the dismal fiscal Mistral of the current climate zephyrs its way over and around the OFFLs Administrative Provençal hills, we ask ourselves if there is anything, absolutely anything, we can do to cheer ourselves up?

And all we can hear is that bloody wind whistling through the silence as if Nature herself is taunting us.

So while the Chairman looks to sell up and move OFFL HQ to premises a little more 'bijou' we turn to the warmth of our security blanket that is the OFFL and begin our collective thumbsucking.


OFFL Cup
Results

RS T-Boy 7 v 3 Ant & Bex
Nuttingham Florist 0 v 1 Abeerden
Radnorshire Tigers 12 v 1 Dube Stars FC
Pompey Puss 5 v 4 Inter Milandrover

In other words...

Rick Beecroft 7 v 3 Ant Reeves
Andy Straw 0 v 1 Steve Tierney
Alun Edwards 12 v 1 Khumbula Dube
Lionel Larking 5 v 4 Smasher

This round is a prime example of how important the Draw for the OFFL Cup actually is.

Steve Tierney scrapes past Mr Straw with a diabolical point while the Pompey Puss got the cream against the Milandrover.

At this rate the Double is In The Bag for Mr Beecroft, surely. All due respect [i.e. none] to Tierney and Edwards obviously.

Manager of the Week is Jordan United's Grant Larking, again so soon, with a mediocre 14 points. But what's the point of trying to let him know he's won the Manager of the Week Certificate when we're actually speaking to him from HIS SPAM FOLDER.

Week 30: RS T-Boy runs away

As Dan Manns picks up the Manager of the Week certificate for being, quite lampard frankly, so much better than the rest of you [what with scoring 21 points for his Mannschester Rovers], Rick Beecroft nets himself enough points to put him 31 points ahead of second place - currently occupied by current champions BM Mingmongs.

Surely this has to be the most one-sided OFFL in years. Indeed, former Chelsea boss, Jose Mourinho launched a shock attack on the OFFL by insisting that it is embarrassing that RS T-Boy is running away with the League Title.

Mourinho, whose Inter Milan side don't face RS T-Boy in in Wednesday's crunch Champions League second leg at Old Trafford, is stunned at how easy it has been for Sir Richard Beecroft's men in the league.

And, in a trademark show of modesty, he went on to claim that it would be much different if he was still managing in the OFFL.

And at that point he was wheeled away by men in white coats while the gathering crowd turned their eyes at yours truly for clearly plagiarising someone else's feeble copy to palm it off as yet another Studmarks original.

If a barrel appears in barren times. Scrape it.

Week 29

Jordan Utd unwittingly wins the Manager of Week certificate which will probably come as a complete surprise what with Studmarks making its way directly into Grant Larking's spam folder, stuttering a "...but...!" on its way past. Probably. 13 points.

Other news: Olymping Macdrid's manager, and Rafa Benitez almostalookalike, Craig McHugh has made his last two transfers of the season and now sits on his hands in hope, trying not to fidget nor to complete the Benitez illusion by losing his rag at the managers above him.

Actually, he doesn't look anything like the Spaniard but you can tell what we were grasping at...

And Week 31 will be giving us our next round of results for the OFFL Cup but Who's Zoomin' Who?

OFFL Cup

RS T-Boy v Ant & Bex
Nuttingham Florist v Abeerden
Radnorshire Tigers v Dube Stars FC
Pompey Puss v Inter Milandrover


In other words...

Rick Beecroft v Ant Reeves
Andy Straw v Steve Tierney
Alun Edwards v Khumbula Dube
Lionel Larking v Smasher

The prize is beyond most OFFL managers' wildest dreams.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0_ZJoa8VBk