Week 13: Bottom Dweller Creepage

Last week's bottom-dweller is this week's Manager of the Week certificate winner after Edgar Rayner's Knievel United notched up an untouchable 21 points. This has also meant a rise of one place in the table for the latest entrant to this year's competition.

Current Champions Radnorshire Tigers, however, can't be quite so pleased with themselves as they drop like a stone, scoring minus 3 and falling four places. We, here at OFFL HQ, hear rumours of the much maligned 'backing of the Chairman' for manager Mr Edwards.

Things are bleak. Oh so bleak.

Three More Hundred Pointers

Flicking off the crumbs of yet another fun-size packet of Maltesers from the taut surface of his debauched belly, the Chairman actually managed to notice this week that the teams in positions two to six all made up some ground on the early season tearaway leaders, Decimated Left Peg.

Then a button popped off his waistcoat and stole his attention away from all matters OFFL leaving us here at OFFL HQ to marshal things as usual.

Which means that we have decided to fill this annoying piece of time-waste with news that Upmintster United, Pompey Puss and Tesco Value FC are the latest teams to pass the 100 point mark. And also that, in spite of getting rid of Agbonlahor just before he hit a very rich vein of form, Livercoolio push into third.


Manager of the Week this week is Lionel Larking whose Pompey Puss notch up a purrfectly acceptable 22 points Meanwhile good news also greets this week's highest climber, Rob Ivison's A God Called Fred who ascends five places.

And everyone stare at Nick Reed. Go on. Yes. His Gotsmanov's Salute fall farthest. Down seven. Stop sniggering at the back - it could happen to you next week. Well, most of you.

One Hundred and Fifty-Three Days

As the nights draw in, the clocks have finally gone back and we're all throwing longing glances in the direction of calendar 2010.

Only one hundred and fifty-three days till British Summer Time.

Sigh.

So, while we wait for that smell of freshly cut grass to waft through the car window as we queue on a sunny motorway slip road in March we have to distract ourselves with the important things in life.

Like the fact that Russ Bielby and Ashley Keeler have jointly won the Manager of the Week certificate. They steer their respective Livercoolio and Tesco Value FC to 20 points each. Livercoolio climb six places into fourth.

Highest climber of the week is Lionel Larking's Pompey Puss, up seven. Steve Tierney's Wymondham Wanderers fall furthest, down seven. [Sniggerchortle].

Week 10: Lead Stretched

Another three League teams pass the 100 point mark with Inter Milandrover regaining second spot. Overall, however, the chasing pack loses ground [1 point] to leaders, Decimated Left Peg.

Manager of the Week is Craig McHugh who steered his Olymping Macdrid to a point haul of 12, kicking them up the ladder by, oh, one place. Highest climber this week is Chris Brown's Must Kill Mojo [up four] farthest faller is Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers [down four].

Everyone stare at Dan Manns and Gavin Ward [snigger] minus one point this week.

One Fixture May Not Mean Much To You, But It Does To Gavin

HashaSmasha netted 3 points this week earning manager Gavin Ward the Manager of the Week certificate and a climb of one place in the table. Highest ascender is Radnorshire Tigers, up two places, after scoring a mammothian 2 points.

We also welcome Edgar Rayner into the fold. His team Knievel United is in no way a blatant marketing attempt at raising sales of the album 'This Year's Evel Knievel' by Loopy on iTunes.

On iTunes.

That's iTunes.

I. Tunes.

Meanwhile, we await bandmate Tom's entry which will, we are led to believe, only include footballers' names that have musical connotations. Our collective eyebrow is arched into a cramp.

And finally, we welcome back Rick 'Captain Beecy' Beecroft from his honeymoon this week and hope that he and his 'Assistant Manager' had a great time [pictured].

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Week 08

Manager of the Week this week is Neil Jukes who extends his lead at the top of the table by netting 22 points for his Decimated Left Peg. Livercoolio rise highest, no thanks to Agbonlahor of course, by climbing six places while Champions Radnorshire Tigers and Not-Champions Lashings of Cheese fall three. Olymping Macdrid fumble their way off the bottom of the table.

Is it time to reveal this season's OFFL Cup prize yet?

It's All Arsenorm About Face At The Top

We have a change at the top as Inter Milandrover fail to surf the wave of points that crashed against the OFFL shore this week. They get barged out of the way by new leaders Decimated Left Peg and last week's Manager of the Week's Lovedean Academicals.

With an amazing score of 26 points, we see Arsenorm more than double their point tally so far this season earning their manager, Mark 'New Dad' Norman, this week's Manager of the Week Certificate, Keane TOT and O'Shea MU doing most of the work.

Moanchester Onionited climb highest [six places] into eighth while everybody stare at Andy Straw and his Nuttingham Florist... they fall lowest [seven places] into thirteenth.

Are you ready to find out more about this year's cup prize?